It has been fifteen months since I returned home from what I thought was to be my last trip west. I thought I was going to find my home somewhere on the west coast when I headed out on my ninth trip across country in August 2010. I did not want to return. Returning home to me meant that I had failed and had given up on my dream. It was, in my mind, the worst thing that could happen.
The winter of 2010-2011 had me believing I was right. It was truly my winter of discontent. I was so disheartened with my work and the spiritual community that I was determined I would re-enter society and get a "real" job but my higher self had other plans for me.
By the time summer rolled around, the harsh winter had melted into an emotional inferno. Picture it. Summer 2011. I and my two sisters and their two dogs in a one bedroom single wide trailer in the middle of a cross between a marina and an RV park. Explosive emotions, both up and down, shot out from each of us like fourth of July fireworks. Many of my childhood wounds resurfaced for review. No wonder I didn't want to come back! This was the down and dirty, nitty gritty inner healing work. Through the judgment I felt from my sisters, my self doubt, and a lot of introspection, I allowed my real self to triumph. I spoke my truth from my heart. I was finally being true to myself.
This past fall and winter have been quite different. I unearthed what was keeping me from fully accepting and loving what is. I mended my relationship with my sisters and continue to mend my relationship with myself. As the wise Cherokee woman told me shortly after I arrived at my sister's summer home, "Sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forward."
During one of my recent walks, I felt the urge to go to a local antique-flea market shop to find a couple of books to read. The first book that got my attention was called Homecoming, Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw. The word homecoming got my attention and then I realized this was a book a friend from Sedona had told me about. He told me how much the book had helped him heal his inner child. It was as if this book had called me to come and take it home.
I began to read about human developmental stages and how unhealed childhood wounds can translate into adult behavior. After reading the first part and answering the wounded child questionnaire, it was clear that I have more work to do. I continued on with the chapters for reclaiming my infant and toddler selves and then one HUGE ah ha moment surfaced.
I recently asked myself why I always feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop. Once I read that this catastrophizing is an addictive behavior to fear, it all started to make sense. When I was a toddler I witnessed my sister being physically abused by my father until she lost consciousness. I don't remember the incident, but when my sister told me during a conversation we had about abuse several years ago that she had been abused, I just knew I had witnessed it.
Just yesterday I had a conversation with my other sister that I knew I needed to have. For many reasons, it was important for me to know that I could continue to stay in her summer home. Before yesterday I was, true to form, waiting for the "other shoe to drop" and for her to say I need to leave. She was fine with me staying and was very loving and supportive. When I got home last night, I was still in shock, integrating the day's events. More than anything else, I was grateful.
After several days of intense introspection, reading, reclaiming my infant and toddler selves as Mr. Bradshaw recommended, and my conversation yesterday with my sister, I woke up this morning able to integrate what had happened to me. After witnessing my other sister's beating, I had internalized the fear and worry of when would it be my turn. In response to this, I stuffed the fear into my body creating musculoskeletal issues and autoimmune diseases. My body went into defense posture and contracted. I became the ideal daughter and student, too afraid to speak up or do one thing out of order. Add to that a mother who expected us to be perfect and no wonder I was afraid to do anything! Even when I got a 98 average on my report card, my mother said, "If you got 98 you could have gotten 100." In fact, as a child I may have believed that I was the cause of my father's anger and felt guilty. Guilt and shame go hand-in-hand and when I didn't measure up to my mother's standards, the guilt and shame grew. Hence, the weight of the world was on my shoulders and boy does it feel like that! As all of this information came flooding in, I cried like a baby. I sat on the floor and cried tears of sadness for my wounded child, tears of grief for the things in life I lost out on because I was too addicted to fear, and tears of joy for finally getting to the root cause, to the original pain as Bradshaw refers to it. As he says, "You can't heal what you can't feel."
Several weeks ago, I saw an ad for a healing center/metaphysical shop called Full Circle near where I live. Its name got my attention since it feels like I have come full circle. I knew I was to go there.
The shop is just a couple blocks from where I was born. How much more full circle can you get in this lifetime? The owner welcomed me and it was as if I were talking to an old friend. Since then, he has asked me to host the weekly meditation, and I will be teaching some classes and offering spiritual tours. Things seem to come to me with ease now that I am home.
Home within and without. My homecoming.
Who says you can't go home?
Sunday, March 11, 2012
Friday, January 20, 2012
All the Time
When I reflect upon the past 12 years of my life and all of the "shifting" that had occurred, from leaving my job, entering into the alternative health field, ending a 14 year relationship, moving across country, focusing on my inner work and life work, changing career fields again, and after driving over 30,000 miles back and forth across the country, I realize much of it was like a dog chasing its tail.
Was all the movement necessary? Yes. It is only after we climb every mountain, turn over every stone, chase every dream, and exhaust every belief can we stop, catch our breath, and then realize the truth of who we are. Last year was a year of long needed rest after a virtual whirlwind of movement. As still as 2011 was, 2012 will bring new movement and begin a new spiral in our lives.
For many, the truth of who we are is our greatest fear. It comes from all of the programming we received from our parents, teachers, society, government, and religion. You can't be that powerful. You can't know that. You can't do that. You can't...you can't...you can't. No wonder we have spent years chasing our tails! We break these chains of limitation through movement, through spinning and creating a vortex of energy focused in our core. Only then have we amassed sufficient energy to break the god-awful grip of those foolish beliefs.
Much of our chasing is done alone. Soul family come and go to assist us along the way but no one can chase our tails for us. This is a path we must walk alone.
Then one day we wake up and know in our hearts what we came here to do. We focus our energy on our work until we've done all we can do by ourselves. We realize we need others to help us bring this creation into the world. 2012 is the year we find our work partners. We begin to co-create heaven on earth.
I recently heard this song by Barry Manilow and felt the words more deeply than I had in the past. I think the lyrics may express how many of us may feel this year.
All The Time
All the time I thought there's only me
Crazy in a way that no one else could be
I would have given everything I own
If someone would have said "you're not alone"
All the time I thought that I was wrong
Wanting to believe but needing to belong
If I'd've just believed in all I had
If someone would have said "you're not so bad"
CHORUS
All the time, all the wasted time
All the years waiting for a sign
To think I had it all
All the time
All the time I thought there's only me
Crazy in a way that no one else could be
I can't believe that you were somewhere, too
Thinking all the time there's only you
CHORUS
(Words and Lyrics by Barry Manilow and Marty Panzer)
To think I had it all, all the time?! Wow. Now comes the fun!
Here's to finding our play buddies! I don't know about you but my work is play!
Was all the movement necessary? Yes. It is only after we climb every mountain, turn over every stone, chase every dream, and exhaust every belief can we stop, catch our breath, and then realize the truth of who we are. Last year was a year of long needed rest after a virtual whirlwind of movement. As still as 2011 was, 2012 will bring new movement and begin a new spiral in our lives.
For many, the truth of who we are is our greatest fear. It comes from all of the programming we received from our parents, teachers, society, government, and religion. You can't be that powerful. You can't know that. You can't do that. You can't...you can't...you can't. No wonder we have spent years chasing our tails! We break these chains of limitation through movement, through spinning and creating a vortex of energy focused in our core. Only then have we amassed sufficient energy to break the god-awful grip of those foolish beliefs.
Much of our chasing is done alone. Soul family come and go to assist us along the way but no one can chase our tails for us. This is a path we must walk alone.
Then one day we wake up and know in our hearts what we came here to do. We focus our energy on our work until we've done all we can do by ourselves. We realize we need others to help us bring this creation into the world. 2012 is the year we find our work partners. We begin to co-create heaven on earth.
I recently heard this song by Barry Manilow and felt the words more deeply than I had in the past. I think the lyrics may express how many of us may feel this year.
All The Time
All the time I thought there's only me
Crazy in a way that no one else could be
I would have given everything I own
If someone would have said "you're not alone"
All the time I thought that I was wrong
Wanting to believe but needing to belong
If I'd've just believed in all I had
If someone would have said "you're not so bad"
CHORUS
All the time, all the wasted time
All the years waiting for a sign
To think I had it all
All the time
All the time I thought there's only me
Crazy in a way that no one else could be
I can't believe that you were somewhere, too
Thinking all the time there's only you
CHORUS
(Words and Lyrics by Barry Manilow and Marty Panzer)
To think I had it all, all the time?! Wow. Now comes the fun!
Here's to finding our play buddies! I don't know about you but my work is play!
Tuesday, December 13, 2011
2012 - Embodying the Divine
What better time than the season of light, Christmas, to prepare for the physical integration of my God self. For those of us wayshowers, it is becoming increasingly evident that our time draws near.
This past year has been physically still, emotionally moving, mentally challenging, and spiritually awakening. I have experienced numerous heart-opening events, challenging yet empowering relationship issues, disconnection from and reconnection to consciousness grids, and reclamation of my soul and its passion.
If I look back at 2011 with the eyes of mainstream consciousness, it appears I didn't do much. I worked a part time job and researched and wrote numerous chapters for my second book. In turn, my book worked on me. As a writer friend of mine says, we write for ourselves first and then others. The first potential title I gave my book is, Remembering Your Divinity. 2011 has certainly been a year of doing just that. From stillness comes all motion.
2012 feels like the year of not only remembering my divinity, but embodying and living as the God that I AM. How do I wrap my human mind around that? The answer is I don't. I open my heart to it. In my second book, I am writing about the heart and how the energy of the universe, the divine intelligence, works through the heart and enables us to do anything. The heart's electromagnetic field is 5000 times more powerful than the brain's. The heart can handle the enormity of what it means to be God incarnate, the mind cannot.
While we are tuning into the higher frequencies of new consciousness grids, the 3D world appears to make no sense. Words do not always flow freely and when I find myself searching for the word I chose to use, that word no longer makes sense to me. New thought templates cannot contain the words of the past. Words are powerful tools of creation. Given the nature of the world today, I certainly do not choose to continue to create more of the old. A new vocabulary is literally forming since sound yields form. We are writing the new thought templates as we move up in frequency. As we do this we reform our world, first within and then without.
2011 was a year of intense internal reformation. I think 2012 will be a year of intense external reformation as we embody, as Maureen Moss calls it, the heart and mind of God.
I will begin 2012 with ceremony to declare and embody the God that I AM. For me, there is no other "work." This is the work of the human soul.
This Christmas, I know and experience joy in my world, triumphant faith, love beyond measure, a thankful heart, and heavenly peace. Here's to 2012 and the end of the world as I have known it. Cheers!
This past year has been physically still, emotionally moving, mentally challenging, and spiritually awakening. I have experienced numerous heart-opening events, challenging yet empowering relationship issues, disconnection from and reconnection to consciousness grids, and reclamation of my soul and its passion.
If I look back at 2011 with the eyes of mainstream consciousness, it appears I didn't do much. I worked a part time job and researched and wrote numerous chapters for my second book. In turn, my book worked on me. As a writer friend of mine says, we write for ourselves first and then others. The first potential title I gave my book is, Remembering Your Divinity. 2011 has certainly been a year of doing just that. From stillness comes all motion.
2012 feels like the year of not only remembering my divinity, but embodying and living as the God that I AM. How do I wrap my human mind around that? The answer is I don't. I open my heart to it. In my second book, I am writing about the heart and how the energy of the universe, the divine intelligence, works through the heart and enables us to do anything. The heart's electromagnetic field is 5000 times more powerful than the brain's. The heart can handle the enormity of what it means to be God incarnate, the mind cannot.
While we are tuning into the higher frequencies of new consciousness grids, the 3D world appears to make no sense. Words do not always flow freely and when I find myself searching for the word I chose to use, that word no longer makes sense to me. New thought templates cannot contain the words of the past. Words are powerful tools of creation. Given the nature of the world today, I certainly do not choose to continue to create more of the old. A new vocabulary is literally forming since sound yields form. We are writing the new thought templates as we move up in frequency. As we do this we reform our world, first within and then without.
2011 was a year of intense internal reformation. I think 2012 will be a year of intense external reformation as we embody, as Maureen Moss calls it, the heart and mind of God.
I will begin 2012 with ceremony to declare and embody the God that I AM. For me, there is no other "work." This is the work of the human soul.
This Christmas, I know and experience joy in my world, triumphant faith, love beyond measure, a thankful heart, and heavenly peace. Here's to 2012 and the end of the world as I have known it. Cheers!
Monday, October 17, 2011
Allow, Accept, Remember
We are the author of our life's story. Chapters begin and chapters end. In this lifetime of writing multiple volumes and not just chapters, I recently completed volume one. After completing a volume, it is best to rest, recoup, and reflect for what is coming will not look at all like the previous volume.
This year of stillness seemed like a never-ending period of mercury retrograde on steroids. All of the "re's" came to visit. In addition to the three "re's" I listed above, revamp, rehash, redo, revisit, revise, rethink, reorder, re-imagine, and even rewire came to add to the fun. Does anyone feel remotely like the person he or she waslast year, last month, yesterday?! The best way I can describe this year for me is I went on an extended writer's retreat, had writer's block the whole time, and yet couldn't or wouldn't leave.
When do I get to start volume two?! Every time I compose a beginning - a workshop here, a book promotion there - the universe takes the paper and crumples it up. More rewrite. The old is done. The only "re" I cannot do is recreate what was. Volume two cannot be written by the same person who wrote volume one.
It is as if I stepped into a whole new world and I am disoriented. Where am I? How do I navigate? How do I communicate? What in this world do I do next?! What came to me the other night are three words that someone used as their topic for a speech I heard years ago: allow, accept, and remember.
Allow the universe to flow through me. Allow myself to be taken care. Allow my abundance to flow from and to me. Allow myself to love and be loved. Allow myself to feel joy. Allow what is next to come to me. Allow myself to be who I really am.
Accept where I am. Accept what the universe has given me. Accept my power. Accept my gifts. Accept who I am.
Remember my agreement before I embodied. Remember my origin. Remember who I truly am.
Only by allowing, accepting, and remembering who I really am, can I begin the next volume of my life and live my life's true purpose. Knowing it is one thing, living it is a whole other thing.
This year of stillness seemed like a never-ending period of mercury retrograde on steroids. All of the "re's" came to visit. In addition to the three "re's" I listed above, revamp, rehash, redo, revisit, revise, rethink, reorder, re-imagine, and even rewire came to add to the fun. Does anyone feel remotely like the person he or she was
When do I get to start volume two?! Every time I compose a beginning - a workshop here, a book promotion there - the universe takes the paper and crumples it up. More rewrite. The old is done. The only "re" I cannot do is recreate what was. Volume two cannot be written by the same person who wrote volume one.
It is as if I stepped into a whole new world and I am disoriented. Where am I? How do I navigate? How do I communicate? What in this world do I do next?! What came to me the other night are three words that someone used as their topic for a speech I heard years ago: allow, accept, and remember.
Allow the universe to flow through me. Allow myself to be taken care. Allow my abundance to flow from and to me. Allow myself to love and be loved. Allow myself to feel joy. Allow what is next to come to me. Allow myself to be who I really am.
Accept where I am. Accept what the universe has given me. Accept my power. Accept my gifts. Accept who I am.
Remember my agreement before I embodied. Remember my origin. Remember who I truly am.
Only by allowing, accepting, and remembering who I really am, can I begin the next volume of my life and live my life's true purpose. Knowing it is one thing, living it is a whole other thing.
Wednesday, August 10, 2011
Here We Go!
Yesterday was the crest of the 5th day of the last wave of the Mayan Calendar. Picture humanity at the highest point or crest of a roller coaster ride. We are all securely seated, each with our unique view point, knowing that we are all about to take a plunge. Some are fearful of what they think lies ahead. Others are giddy with anticipation of the rush of the ride and some are just along for the ride and don't care either way. Just look around and I think you will see people who see this time in history as a time to fear or a time to rejoice or are just observing in neutral. No matter how you view it, there seems to be no way for humanity to turn this ride around. Like it or not, here we go!
I am currently living near an amusement park that is within walking distance. During one of my walks around the park, I thought about how a roller coaster is a metaphor for life, with its ups and downs, twists and turns, and coming full circle. Even so, people choose to take the ride. We all decided before we embodied to take this ride during this lifetime of change. How we choose to experience the ride, whether to embrace the ups and downs or to fight the flow, makes all the difference in how we feel when we are done.
The purpose of an amusement park is to amuse or bring joy. Life is meant to be lived in joy. We, as conscious co-creators, are designed to create from our hearts and what resides in the heart? Joy.
The physicist, Julian Barbour, proved that what we think in this 3-D world creates certain forms in 6-D. I refer to these forms as etheric templates in the book I am currently writing. He proved that what we focus on is created as sacred geometry forms (thought forms) in another dimension, which eventually become part of 3-D. When we focus on fear, we get more fear. When we focus on joy, we get more joy.
I knew that at this crucial time, humanity would be looking for lifelines. Hence the title of my blog and publishing company, Life Lines. What lifeline will be strong enough to survive this ride we are on? The obvious answer is love but love is cliche. Love is a loaded word that can be interpreted in various ways. Joy, on the other hand, is less ambiguous. Can you imagine feeling joy without also being in a state of love?
On August 18, we enter the energy of destruction during the 5th night of the Mayan Calendar. Destruction of the world economy, destruction of political and societal structures, destruction of the environment, destruction through catastrophic earth changes, and destruction through war may all come to pass. Not a pretty picture and yet, if you realize that we can no longer survive if we continue on this current path, then you can look at this change with gratitude and joy. If the world as we have known it is coming to an end as the indigenous of the world have predicted, then let's keep dancing! Let's bring in the new with enthusiasm! The word enthusiasm comes from the root entheos meaning having a god within. What may seem to be counter-intuitive to most people, being in joy, is exactly what will turn the tide.
Riding the waves of change while in joy creates smaller swells. It calms the rough seas of change. Time flies when you are having fun because joy keeps you in the moment of now. Fear cannot exist in the moment of now.
I wrote in my book, In the Key of Life, An Activational Journey to the Soul, "Joy comes from living the truth of who you are." As destruction increases in the last months of the Calendar, our consciousness increases. Joy is the natural effect of awakening to our divine nature. As doom and gloom abound, joy tiptoes in unannounced. When was the last time you played? Pay attention to what brings you joy. Notice when you are in your joy. Choose joy. Joy is contagious.
I am currently living near an amusement park that is within walking distance. During one of my walks around the park, I thought about how a roller coaster is a metaphor for life, with its ups and downs, twists and turns, and coming full circle. Even so, people choose to take the ride. We all decided before we embodied to take this ride during this lifetime of change. How we choose to experience the ride, whether to embrace the ups and downs or to fight the flow, makes all the difference in how we feel when we are done.
The purpose of an amusement park is to amuse or bring joy. Life is meant to be lived in joy. We, as conscious co-creators, are designed to create from our hearts and what resides in the heart? Joy.
I knew that at this crucial time, humanity would be looking for lifelines. Hence the title of my blog and publishing company, Life Lines. What lifeline will be strong enough to survive this ride we are on? The obvious answer is love but love is cliche. Love is a loaded word that can be interpreted in various ways. Joy, on the other hand, is less ambiguous. Can you imagine feeling joy without also being in a state of love?
On August 18, we enter the energy of destruction during the 5th night of the Mayan Calendar. Destruction of the world economy, destruction of political and societal structures, destruction of the environment, destruction through catastrophic earth changes, and destruction through war may all come to pass. Not a pretty picture and yet, if you realize that we can no longer survive if we continue on this current path, then you can look at this change with gratitude and joy. If the world as we have known it is coming to an end as the indigenous of the world have predicted, then let's keep dancing! Let's bring in the new with enthusiasm! The word enthusiasm comes from the root entheos meaning having a god within. What may seem to be counter-intuitive to most people, being in joy, is exactly what will turn the tide.
Riding the waves of change while in joy creates smaller swells. It calms the rough seas of change. Time flies when you are having fun because joy keeps you in the moment of now. Fear cannot exist in the moment of now.
I wrote in my book, In the Key of Life, An Activational Journey to the Soul, "Joy comes from living the truth of who you are." As destruction increases in the last months of the Calendar, our consciousness increases. Joy is the natural effect of awakening to our divine nature. As doom and gloom abound, joy tiptoes in unannounced. When was the last time you played? Pay attention to what brings you joy. Notice when you are in your joy. Choose joy. Joy is contagious.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
The Collective NDE
Each of us is living a "near death experience" or NDE. We know our bodies still exist and yet we experience what it is like to be out of body. Have you felt like a walking zombie lately?
For months now, it has felt like we were dying yet we are still here. What we are experiencing is the collective dying to left brain-dominated consciousness and simultaneously experiencing right brain expansive consciousness. What is orchestrating this zombie-like experience is our hearts. Yes, the heart, and not the brain, is mission control within the body.
The left brain is responsible for interpreting energy patterns so that we are able to make sense or rationalize what is happening in the physical realm. This is why the left brain is the seat of reason. Without our left brains, we would not be able to function in the physical reality. If we remain stuck in our left brains, we begin to believe that what we see in the physical is all there is. I am separate from everything and therefore the fear of not having enough is birthed. Greed takes over and we all can see the effects of this greed in our world. Separation consciousness is self-destructive. It breeds competition and war.
In this time of the collective NDE, our left brains switch off for a while, allowing our right brains to take over. Right brain consciousness taps into our creative, expansive selves. When we meditate, we experience the bliss of "losing ourselves" in all there is. Separation doesn't exist. The idea of competition is nonsense since we end up defeating ourselves. We realize cooperation is the only way.
It feels wonderful to be in your "right mind". Everything is beautiful. Love is all there is. It is like reliving the 70's but the hippie movement didn't make a lasting change in the world. When we are stuck in right brain consciousness, we live in la la land 24/7 floating around like a hovercraft going nowhere. Nothing really materializes in our world. In order for us spiritual beings having an occasional human experience to manifest anything in the physical, we must ground the energy. The Kabbalah teaches us this. The first Sephorith in the Tree of Life, upon which the tree is rooted, is Malkuth - Lord of Earth.
The key to enlightenment is to balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain. "We live in a many and one universe" so says the first key in The Book of Knowledge: The Keys of Enoch. The right brain says "I am that" realizing the unity of all things. I am part of the everything, even the energy that made me. The left brains says "I am." I am the individuated genius from an energy matrix from the vast Source of All. No one has the exact same manifestation of codes as me. This is the middle pillar Rebecca Carol Lee referred to in her book, The Three Resurrections. The middle pillar is the blending of the left and right hemispheres of the brain, the masculine and the feminine, the science and the mysticism creating the Divine Science.
We are recalibrating our energy and rewiring our brains to first experience living in right brain consciousness for a while. Have you tried counting money, remembering an address, or comprehending what you have just read lately?! These are all left brain activities. If you feel like you are totally disconnected from "reality" and feel like a blissful cloud floating in a sea of noisy nonsense, this too shall pass. Heaven is here now so be here now. You are in a body and through that body you create. You were born to create and there is no creating without interpreting the energy around you. Soon we will marry our left hemisphere to our right hemisphere and create heaven on earth. We live from our hearts, knowing that the heart is in control. That, my friends, is what this whole ascension thing is about. We become Adonai Ha-Aretz, Lord of Earth.
For months now, it has felt like we were dying yet we are still here. What we are experiencing is the collective dying to left brain-dominated consciousness and simultaneously experiencing right brain expansive consciousness. What is orchestrating this zombie-like experience is our hearts. Yes, the heart, and not the brain, is mission control within the body.
The left brain is responsible for interpreting energy patterns so that we are able to make sense or rationalize what is happening in the physical realm. This is why the left brain is the seat of reason. Without our left brains, we would not be able to function in the physical reality. If we remain stuck in our left brains, we begin to believe that what we see in the physical is all there is. I am separate from everything and therefore the fear of not having enough is birthed. Greed takes over and we all can see the effects of this greed in our world. Separation consciousness is self-destructive. It breeds competition and war.
In this time of the collective NDE, our left brains switch off for a while, allowing our right brains to take over. Right brain consciousness taps into our creative, expansive selves. When we meditate, we experience the bliss of "losing ourselves" in all there is. Separation doesn't exist. The idea of competition is nonsense since we end up defeating ourselves. We realize cooperation is the only way.
It feels wonderful to be in your "right mind". Everything is beautiful. Love is all there is. It is like reliving the 70's but the hippie movement didn't make a lasting change in the world. When we are stuck in right brain consciousness, we live in la la land 24/7 floating around like a hovercraft going nowhere. Nothing really materializes in our world. In order for us spiritual beings having an occasional human experience to manifest anything in the physical, we must ground the energy. The Kabbalah teaches us this. The first Sephorith in the Tree of Life, upon which the tree is rooted, is Malkuth - Lord of Earth.
The key to enlightenment is to balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain. "We live in a many and one universe" so says the first key in The Book of Knowledge: The Keys of Enoch. The right brain says "I am that" realizing the unity of all things. I am part of the everything, even the energy that made me. The left brains says "I am." I am the individuated genius from an energy matrix from the vast Source of All. No one has the exact same manifestation of codes as me. This is the middle pillar Rebecca Carol Lee referred to in her book, The Three Resurrections. The middle pillar is the blending of the left and right hemispheres of the brain, the masculine and the feminine, the science and the mysticism creating the Divine Science.
We are recalibrating our energy and rewiring our brains to first experience living in right brain consciousness for a while. Have you tried counting money, remembering an address, or comprehending what you have just read lately?! These are all left brain activities. If you feel like you are totally disconnected from "reality" and feel like a blissful cloud floating in a sea of noisy nonsense, this too shall pass. Heaven is here now so be here now. You are in a body and through that body you create. You were born to create and there is no creating without interpreting the energy around you. Soon we will marry our left hemisphere to our right hemisphere and create heaven on earth. We live from our hearts, knowing that the heart is in control. That, my friends, is what this whole ascension thing is about. We become Adonai Ha-Aretz, Lord of Earth.
Monday, May 23, 2011
Extreme Heart Makeover
Well, what an ascension ride this is! What is your ascension "soup du jour"? Most of my friends are experiencing major cellular memory clearing through upper respiratory or intestinal "infections." I experienced my big clearing event on May 9, only my clearing was not with the lung and large intestine meridian. Mine was with the heart meridian.
It has been raining everyday for the past month except for a couple of days. The rains flooded my front yard right up to the front deck. I know water symbolizes emotion and boy is there a lot coming!
The day before my big event, I noticed as I was slicing a beet, it felt like I was cutting open a heart, as this beet was heart-shaped. Later, I looked at the sliced strawberries resembling small red hearts. I didn't realize the significance of making note of these until after the event.
When I woke up on May 9, I immediately sat up in bed and said determinately, "I know my heart is not as open as it can be. I choose to open my heart now." What I forgot to add to that was "with ease and grace." Thankfully, my guides were with me the entire day, telling me what to do next. I pulled my tarot cards for the day and one of them was Pay Attention.
That morning I noticed a seagull land in front of the house. Just the other day I wondered why I hadn't seen any around the canal so this sighting caught my attention. The seagull symbolizes deep emotional healing. How perfect! I knew I needed to be by a larger body of water so I walked to the lake.
After walking along the lake shore, I was guided to walk to the amusement park, which had not yet opened for the season. As I sat on a bench facing some of the rides, I realized that this amusement park was where I experienced the most joy as a child. One of the nine keys from my first book is, "Joy resides in the heart." I walked to look at my favorite rides at Kiddieland. (Can you believe they have the same rides I enjoyed as a child?!) Tears started welling up in my eyes as I said to myself, "I want my joy back!" I knew I needed to get back to process this release.
On my way back, I had the thought that this release will bring about another metamorphosis. Just as I had that thought, a blue butterfly flew in front of me! As I approached the house, I saw a flicker fly from the ground to the tree. Flicker medicine brings a new cycle of growth and helps us to see hidden patterns and "coincidences."
I was guided to go online when I got back, which I thought was odd. I was guided to sign up for a teleconference that included some instant free downloads, one of which was a guided heart opening meditation. Okay, here we go!
Almost immediately after finishing the meditation, I felt this incredible pressure and palpitation in my chest. The phrase "Be careful what you ask for because you will get it" never entered my mind that day! I thought I had better call a friend and ask her check in with my energy as it felt like I was having a heart attack. As I am on the phone with her, I am sobbing uncontrollably. Tears that were held back from this and every other lifetime came out. She said she saw a huge chunk coming off of my heart and that my guides were there toning and facilitating. As all of this is happening, as though in another dimension, I am watching two rabbits play in the field across from the canal. The rabbits came to tell me it is time to face my fears that hold me back from growing.
I went into the bedroom and immediately went into child's pose. I toned and cried at the same time - not an easy thing. So much energy was moving that I felt like I was going to vomit. After that passed, I went into the shower and used a loofah to scrub away the old skin of who I was. I was guided to make dinner and then meditate. As I meditated, I felt my third eye and heart being worked on and then I saw a huge intense white light coming out of my heart chakra. I heard, "What did you think an open portal would look like?!"
That night I dreamed I lost my wallet and my car was gone from the parking lot. The old identity is gone and along with the old journey. All that in less than 24 hours!
Oh, but there's more! As soon as I opened my heart, more incredible synchronicity happened. A woman emailed me on Facebook the next morning saying that she has been following my work and would love to share life stories. The reason this email caught my eye is that her name is Susan. I had just listened to a reading I got years ago that said I would meet a Susan and she would be a marker for me. So I looked up her website and she lives in the area and knows some of the people I know! We emailed back and forth and scheduled a lunch meeting.
On the morning of the meeting, I saw a hummingbird at the front deck. Joy and the ability to do the impossible, I thought. I felt light as a feather as I walked that morning. I noticed a sign on a dumpster that read, "Bliss." How appropriate!
The lunch meeting was magical. After lunch we sat on a stoop where we enjoyed our coffee. Next to us was a small sidewalk sign that read, "Don't delay, today is the day." After seeing that, I asked her if she would like to teach some workshops together. She was delighted. When we arrived back at her car, I noticed the cars parked between us were gone. I said, "The path between us is clear now." We had tears in our eyes as we hugged good-bye.
Magic happens when we open our heart and lighten our load. Healing isn't always pretty but it is worth it. I know there are other wonderful stories of awakening out there. You may be living yours right now. Just know that my heart is with you.
It has been raining everyday for the past month except for a couple of days. The rains flooded my front yard right up to the front deck. I know water symbolizes emotion and boy is there a lot coming!
The day before my big event, I noticed as I was slicing a beet, it felt like I was cutting open a heart, as this beet was heart-shaped. Later, I looked at the sliced strawberries resembling small red hearts. I didn't realize the significance of making note of these until after the event.
When I woke up on May 9, I immediately sat up in bed and said determinately, "I know my heart is not as open as it can be. I choose to open my heart now." What I forgot to add to that was "with ease and grace." Thankfully, my guides were with me the entire day, telling me what to do next. I pulled my tarot cards for the day and one of them was Pay Attention.
That morning I noticed a seagull land in front of the house. Just the other day I wondered why I hadn't seen any around the canal so this sighting caught my attention. The seagull symbolizes deep emotional healing. How perfect! I knew I needed to be by a larger body of water so I walked to the lake.
After walking along the lake shore, I was guided to walk to the amusement park, which had not yet opened for the season. As I sat on a bench facing some of the rides, I realized that this amusement park was where I experienced the most joy as a child. One of the nine keys from my first book is, "Joy resides in the heart." I walked to look at my favorite rides at Kiddieland. (Can you believe they have the same rides I enjoyed as a child?!) Tears started welling up in my eyes as I said to myself, "I want my joy back!" I knew I needed to get back to process this release.
On my way back, I had the thought that this release will bring about another metamorphosis. Just as I had that thought, a blue butterfly flew in front of me! As I approached the house, I saw a flicker fly from the ground to the tree. Flicker medicine brings a new cycle of growth and helps us to see hidden patterns and "coincidences."
I was guided to go online when I got back, which I thought was odd. I was guided to sign up for a teleconference that included some instant free downloads, one of which was a guided heart opening meditation. Okay, here we go!
Almost immediately after finishing the meditation, I felt this incredible pressure and palpitation in my chest. The phrase "Be careful what you ask for because you will get it" never entered my mind that day! I thought I had better call a friend and ask her check in with my energy as it felt like I was having a heart attack. As I am on the phone with her, I am sobbing uncontrollably. Tears that were held back from this and every other lifetime came out. She said she saw a huge chunk coming off of my heart and that my guides were there toning and facilitating. As all of this is happening, as though in another dimension, I am watching two rabbits play in the field across from the canal. The rabbits came to tell me it is time to face my fears that hold me back from growing.
I went into the bedroom and immediately went into child's pose. I toned and cried at the same time - not an easy thing. So much energy was moving that I felt like I was going to vomit. After that passed, I went into the shower and used a loofah to scrub away the old skin of who I was. I was guided to make dinner and then meditate. As I meditated, I felt my third eye and heart being worked on and then I saw a huge intense white light coming out of my heart chakra. I heard, "What did you think an open portal would look like?!"
That night I dreamed I lost my wallet and my car was gone from the parking lot. The old identity is gone and along with the old journey. All that in less than 24 hours!
Oh, but there's more! As soon as I opened my heart, more incredible synchronicity happened. A woman emailed me on Facebook the next morning saying that she has been following my work and would love to share life stories. The reason this email caught my eye is that her name is Susan. I had just listened to a reading I got years ago that said I would meet a Susan and she would be a marker for me. So I looked up her website and she lives in the area and knows some of the people I know! We emailed back and forth and scheduled a lunch meeting.
On the morning of the meeting, I saw a hummingbird at the front deck. Joy and the ability to do the impossible, I thought. I felt light as a feather as I walked that morning. I noticed a sign on a dumpster that read, "Bliss." How appropriate!
The lunch meeting was magical. After lunch we sat on a stoop where we enjoyed our coffee. Next to us was a small sidewalk sign that read, "Don't delay, today is the day." After seeing that, I asked her if she would like to teach some workshops together. She was delighted. When we arrived back at her car, I noticed the cars parked between us were gone. I said, "The path between us is clear now." We had tears in our eyes as we hugged good-bye.
Magic happens when we open our heart and lighten our load. Healing isn't always pretty but it is worth it. I know there are other wonderful stories of awakening out there. You may be living yours right now. Just know that my heart is with you.
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