Divine Initiations

This past week has been one powerful initiation after another. It started on Tuesday with the yearning to walk in the woods. I drove to a local trail and walked to a swampy area where I was greeted by a dragonfly who landed on me. As I was taking in the beauty of the water lilies, listening to the bullfrogs, and watching the butterflies, I found myself doing ceremony to remove any and all shields that kept me from living as the god that I AM. After I removed a shield over my heart, I looked up and directly above me was a heart-shaped cloud. Not only did the heavens partake in the ceremony, various creatures took turns: a butterfly appeared to symbolize my transformation and the squawk of a blue jay reminded me to use this power wisely. It was as if a higher consciousness entered me and performed the ceremony. From that moment, I knew the Joan I used to be was gone.

A couple of days later, I went to view a life-sized replica of the Moses' Sanctuary and the Hebrew Tabernacle. I knew I needed to see it since several years ago I had witnessed a "burning bush" with a friend of mine. The bush was just behind the house across the street from my friend's house. Several days after the fire, I went to visit her. My friend's house was untouched by the fire that had consumed seven homes. I looked across the street and saw there was no bush in the area where both of us had witnessed the "burning bush."  "Liz, there was no bush there," I said incredulously. "I know, freaky," she responded.

A lovely young woman from Brazil led the tour through the sanctuary. As she was explaining the diorama in front of us and what we would be seeing later in the tour, I received a download. I am in the process of completing my manuscript for my second book and I realized that the Moses's Sanctuary (which later became Solomon's Temple) symbolizes what the book is about: remembering our divinity. I had written about the significance of blood and gold and I was being shown how the ancients performed their alchemical ceremony of atonement that I discuss in the book as taking place within us now. While we were seated at the holy of holies, the tour guide said we are living in the time of atonement. We are able to become "golden" and overcome disease, death, and all other limitations. Not only was it another confirmation about the information in the book, it confirmed that I am remembering my divinity.

The next day, I was asked by a soul sister to coordinate a remote group healing session for the following morning for her sister. When it is divine timing, everything easily falls into place. Five powerful healers swiftly came together and answered the call. My twin flame, Steven, was one of the healers and had called me just before the group session. "This is as much about all of us as it is for her," he said. I agreed, wondering what other miraculous occurrence would befall me. As my part in the healing, I assisted in transmuting the energy as I was feeling what she and her sister were feeling. I have never felt someones pain that intensely before - another initiation, I thought.

On Sunday, I was guided to rewrite my DNA. I know that our beliefs can change our DNA and what I was told was that the power of the written word was needed in the re-writing. So with pen and paper in hand, I started to rewrite my DNA. When I was about to finish, the phone rang. It was my friend and editor who was also one of the healers. Through our conversation, I realized the thread I needed to carry through the chapter I am writing and understood its importance in the book. Not surprisingly, I have had the most resistance to writing this chapter since this chapter tells my story, why this book is the natural outcome of what I have experienced, and reveals who I really am to the world. 

Earlier that morning, I had done some tracking with the pendulum and I knew I was the next in line for healing. After my conversation, I finished rewriting my DNA and then sent an email. While on Facebook, I noticed that Steven was online. After instant messaging him about my healing, he immediately called me to assist.

My father died over thirty years ago and my uncle died over ten years ago. I found out that both had decided to stay with me and protect me. It takes quite a bit of energy for a spirit to do this and the energy they needed came from me. This explained my lack of energy and many physical symptoms. With unconditional love, we sent them back to the light. Not only had I rewritten my DNA, but I also removed my familial ties. Clearly, I am not the Joan I used to be.

I have been living my next book, Remembering Your Divinity: Entering the Heart of Creation, as I have been writing it. This week was an initiation in re-membering my divinity. Guess what the thread is for the chapter I was so reluctant in writing? It is about my heart. The heart is our connection to Source and our divinity.

Are you experiencing your own divine initiations? We are ascending and becoming congruent with our higher selves. Happy initiations!

Aligning with the Divine

Astrologers, mystics, and scientists all agree that June is a big month. There are numerous reasons why and I'll focus on a few. 

There is a partial lunar eclipse on the 4th just in time to usher in the Venus Transit of a lifetime on June 5-6. Venus, the planet of love, makes heart shapes as it traverses the heavens. Many people have commented that this once-in-a-lifetime event will be a turning point, collectively and individually.

In addition to the Venus Transit, an M-class flare on May 17 did something to the earth that scientists have rarely seen. The highly-charged solar flare interacted with the earth's electromagnetic field (to which, by the way, our individual heart fields are interconnected) and caused charged particles to rain down on earth. This phenomenon is called a Ground Level Enhancement (GLE). Scientists think that our galaxy has tilted such that we are in alignment to channel these rays. The point of all of this is these charged particles are en-lightening us by expanding our consciousness -  a true ground level enhancement.

Back to the Venus Transit. This transit will bring changes in our relationships with others and with ourselves. What I feel Venus is gifting us is the perfect opportunity to reconcile the masculine and feminine within and also integrate our divine selves with our physical selves. 

We have lived in a world of duality, and while it is true that opposites must exist, we are now integrating the two into one. There is a chapter in my upcoming book, Remembering Your Divinity: Entering the Heart of Creation, called "Aligning with the Divine," in which I discuss this galactic alignment, the integration of the masculine and feminine within and the alignment with our god self. We must align our physical energy with that of our divine selves in order to create. "When you make the two one, and when you make the inside like the outside and the outside like the inside, and the above like the below, and when you make the male and the female one and the same...then you will enter the kingdom" (Gospel of Thomas, Saying 22). Get ready folks. The door to the kingdom is about to open.

I go on to say in this chapter that "you cannot be congruent if you believe you are one thing and act as though you are another. Incongruity is the mother of discontent." June may also bring us discontent if we are not in alignment with our true selves. When we do become congruent, one in spirit and body, we will feel this in our heart, our connection to the divine.

Before I finished this blog, the timer on the stove sounded and as I turned it off, the time appeared: 11:11! Now, that's alignment! I love how Spirit confirms things with a bit of humor!

If you are interested in learning more about my upcoming book, please click here.

Spring Cleaning

There is a saying that we teach what we need to learn.  After teaching the second class in my series "FREE TO BE ME" to only one participant yesterday, it hit me.  I have been living my life for others, putting my work first and my desires last.  Living this way is not working.  I realized it is time to change my old way of thinking and working.  The energy around what I have done in the past is dwindling quickly. 

In addition to my outer world changing, my inner world is taking top billing.  As without, so within.  In one week, I have experienced seven different symptoms many of which I had experienced repeatedly in the past.  Some have gone and some remain.  The most severe symptom, which still remains, is the most important one for me to look at.

During this grand retrograde period of Mercury, Mars, and Saturn retrograde, my body decides to send me the quintessential retrograde symptom...gastric reflux.  The old is literally coming up for review and what I have allowed to eat at me can no longer be ignored.

The body is a wise ally.  It never lies.  It will keep sending you messages until you get them.  I think part of what I am experiencing is a grand healing crisis, moving the old stagnant energy up and out but not without much review.  It comes as no surprise that my third chakra is getting my attention.  I attribute how you portray yourself in the world with the third chakra.  Am I free to be me, for me?

Since the one person who came to yesterday's class had some internal and external upheaval of her own, we just sat and talked.  There she was, my teacher, mirroring much of what I had experienced, from a similar physical disorder to a perfectionist mother.  Again, the past came up for review.

I spoke with my friend Joy last night.  I shared with her a dream I had a few nights ago about making a choice to die early so others could live.  She said it feels like a past life pattern of sacrificing yourself for others.  I could feel in my body that what she said was true.  It is about living my joy and my life now.  My old belief that I must sacrifice myself for my work is done.

As our frequency continues to increase, lower frequency emotions, beliefs, and physical disorders are replaced with the harmonic frequencies of love, joy, peace, and wellness.  Happy retrograde spring cleaning!

Homecoming

It has been fifteen months since I returned home from what I thought was to be my last trip west.  I thought I was going to find my home somewhere on the west coast when I headed out on my ninth trip across country in August 2010.  I did not want to return.  Returning home to me meant that I had failed and had given up on my dream.  It was, in my mind, the worst thing that could happen.

The winter of 2010-2011 had me believing I was right.  It was truly my winter of discontent.  I was so disheartened with my work and the spiritual community that I was determined I would re-enter society and get a "real" job but my higher self had other plans for me.

By the time summer rolled around, the harsh winter had melted into an emotional inferno.  Picture it.  Summer 2011.  I and my two sisters and their two dogs in a one bedroom single wide trailer in the middle of a cross between a marina and an RV park.  Explosive emotions, both up and down, shot out from each of us like fourth of July fireworks.  Many of my childhood wounds resurfaced for review.  No wonder I didn't want to come back!  This was the down and dirty, nitty gritty inner healing work.  Through the judgment I felt from my sisters, my self doubt, and a lot of introspection, I allowed my real self to triumph.  I spoke my truth from my heart.  I was finally being true to myself.

This past fall and winter have been quite different.  I unearthed what was keeping me from fully accepting and loving what is.  I mended my relationship with my sisters and continue to mend my relationship with myself.  As the wise Cherokee woman told me shortly after I arrived at my sister's summer home, "Sometimes you have to go backwards before you can go forward." 

During one of my recent walks, I felt the urge to go to a local antique-flea market shop to find a couple of books to read.  The first book that got my attention was called Homecoming, Reclaiming and Championing Your Inner Child by John Bradshaw.  The word homecoming got my attention and then I realized this was a book a friend from Sedona had told me about.  He told me how much the book had helped him heal his inner child.  It was as if this book had called me to come and take it home.

I began to read about human developmental stages and how unhealed childhood wounds can translate into adult behavior.  After reading the first part and answering the wounded child questionnaire, it was clear that I have more work to do.  I continued on with the chapters for reclaiming my infant and toddler selves and then one HUGE ah ha moment surfaced.

I recently asked myself why I always feel like I'm waiting for the other shoe to drop.  Once I read that this catastrophizing is an addictive behavior to fear, it all started to make sense.  When I was a toddler I witnessed my sister being physically abused by my father until she lost consciousness.  I don't remember the incident, but when my sister told me during a conversation we had about abuse several years ago that she had been abused, I just knew I had witnessed it.

Just yesterday I had a conversation with my other sister that I knew I needed to have.  For many reasons, it was important for me to know that I could continue to stay in her summer home.  Before yesterday I was, true to form, waiting for the "other shoe to drop" and for her to say I need to leave.  She was fine with me staying and was very loving and supportive.  When I got home last night, I was still in shock, integrating the day's events.  More than anything else, I was grateful.

After several days of intense introspection, reading, reclaiming my infant and toddler selves as Mr. Bradshaw recommended, and my conversation yesterday with my sister, I woke up this morning able to integrate what had happened to me.  After witnessing my other sister's beating, I had internalized the fear and worry of when would it be my turn.  In response to this, I stuffed the fear into my body creating musculoskeletal issues and autoimmune diseases.  My body went into defense posture and contracted.  I became the ideal daughter and student, too afraid to speak up or do one thing out of order.  Add to that a mother who expected us to be perfect and no wonder I was afraid to do anything!  Even when I got a 98 average on my report card, my mother said, "If you got 98 you could have gotten 100."  In fact, as a child I may have believed that I was the cause of my father's anger and felt guilty.  Guilt and shame go hand-in-hand and when I didn't measure up to my mother's standards, the guilt and shame grew.  Hence, the weight of the world was on my shoulders and boy does it feel like that!  As all of this information came flooding in, I cried like a baby.  I sat on the floor and cried tears of sadness for my wounded child, tears of grief for the things in life I lost out on because I was too addicted to fear, and tears of joy for finally getting to the root cause, to the original pain as Bradshaw refers to it.  As he says, "You can't heal what you can't feel."

Several weeks ago, I saw an ad for a healing center/metaphysical shop called Full Circle near where I live.  Its name got my attention since it feels like I have come full circle.  I knew I was to go there.

The shop is just a couple blocks from where I was born.  How much more full circle can you get in this lifetime?  The owner welcomed me and it was as if I were talking to an old friend.  Since then, he has asked me to host the weekly meditation, and I will be teaching some classes and offering spiritual tours.  Things seem to come to me with ease now that I am home.

Home within and without.  My homecoming.

Who says you can't go home?

All the Time

When I reflect upon the past 12 years of my life and all of the "shifting" that had occurred, from leaving my job, entering into the alternative health field, ending a 14 year relationship, moving across country, focusing on my inner work and life work, changing career fields again, and after driving over 30,000 miles back and forth across the country, I realize much of it was like a dog chasing its tail. 

Was all the movement necessary?  Yes.  It is only after we climb every mountain, turn over every stone, chase every dream, and exhaust every belief can we stop, catch our breath, and then realize the truth of who we are.  Last year was a year of long needed rest after a virtual whirlwind of movement. As still as 2011 was, 2012 will bring new movement and begin a new spiral in our lives.

For many, the truth of who we are is our greatest fear.  It comes from all of the programming we received from our parents, teachers, society, government, and religion.  You can't be that powerful.  You can't know that.  You can't do that.  You can't...you can't...you can't.  No wonder we have spent years chasing our tails!  We break these chains of limitation through movement, through spinning and creating a vortex of energy focused in our core.  Only then have we amassed sufficient energy to break the god-awful grip of those foolish beliefs.

Much of our chasing is done alone.  Soul family come and go to assist us along the way but no one can chase our tails for us.  This is a path we must walk alone.

Then one day we wake up and know in our hearts what we came here to do.  We focus our energy on our work until we've done all we can do by ourselves.  We realize we need others to help us bring this creation into the world.  2012 is the year we find our work partners.  We begin to co-create heaven on earth.

I recently heard this song by Barry Manilow and felt the words more deeply than I had in the past.  I think the lyrics may express how many of us may feel this year.

All The Time

All the time I thought there's only me
Crazy in a way that no one else could be
I would have given everything I own
If someone would have said "you're not alone"

All the time I thought that I was wrong
Wanting to believe but needing to belong
If I'd've just believed in all I had
If someone would have said "you're not so bad"

CHORUS
All the time, all the wasted time
All the years waiting for a sign
To think I had it all
All the time

All the time I thought there's only me
Crazy in a way that no one else could be
I can't believe that you were somewhere, too
Thinking all the time there's only you

CHORUS
(Words and Lyrics by Barry Manilow and Marty Panzer)

To think I had it all, all the time?!  Wow.  Now comes the fun!

Here's to finding our play buddies!  I don't know about you but my work is play!

2012 - Embodying the Divine

What better time than the season of light, Christmas, to prepare for the physical integration of my God self.  For those of us wayshowers, it is becoming increasingly evident that our time draws near.  

This past year has been physically still, emotionally moving, mentally challenging, and spiritually awakening.  I have experienced numerous heart-opening events, challenging yet empowering relationship issues, disconnection from and reconnection to consciousness grids, and reclamation of my soul and its passion.  

If I look back at 2011 with the eyes of mainstream consciousness, it appears I didn't do much.  I worked a part time job and researched and wrote numerous chapters for my second book.  In turn, my book worked on me.  As a writer friend of mine says, we write for ourselves first and then others.  The first potential title I gave my book is, Remembering Your Divinity.  2011 has certainly been a year of doing just that.  From stillness comes all motion.

2012 feels like the year of not only remembering my divinity, but embodying and living as the God that I AM.  How do I wrap my human mind around that?  The answer is I don't.  I open my heart to it.  In my second book, I am writing about the heart and how the energy of the universe, the divine intelligence, works through the heart and enables us to do anything.  The heart's electromagnetic field is 5000 times more powerful than the brain's.  The heart can handle the enormity of what it means to be God incarnate, the mind cannot.

While we are tuning into the higher frequencies of new consciousness grids, the 3D world appears to make no sense.  Words do not always flow freely and when I find myself searching for the word I chose to use, that word no longer makes sense to me.  New thought templates cannot contain the words of the past.  Words are powerful tools of creation.  Given the nature of the world today, I certainly do not choose to continue to create more of the old.  A new vocabulary is literally forming since sound yields form.  We are writing the new thought templates as we move up in frequency.  As we do this we reform our world, first within and then without.

2011 was a year of intense internal reformation.  I think 2012 will be a year of intense external reformation as we embody, as Maureen Moss calls it, the heart and mind of God.

I will begin 2012 with ceremony to declare and embody the God that I AM.  For me, there is no other "work."  This is the work of the human soul.  

This Christmas, I know and experience joy in my world, triumphant faith, love beyond measure, a thankful heart, and heavenly peace.  Here's to 2012 and the end of the world as I have known it.  Cheers!

Allow, Accept, Remember

We are the author of our life's story.  Chapters begin and chapters end.  In this lifetime of writing multiple volumes and not just chapters,  I recently completed volume one.  After completing a volume, it is best to rest, recoup, and reflect for what is coming will not look at all like the previous volume.

This year of stillness seemed like a never-ending period of mercury retrograde on steroids.  All of the "re's" came to visit.  In addition to the three "re's" I listed above, revamp, rehash, redo, revisit, revise, rethink, reorder, re-imagine, and even rewire came to add to the fun.  Does anyone feel remotely like the person he or she was last year, last month, yesterday?!  The best way I can describe this year for me is I went on an extended writer's retreat, had writer's block the whole time, and yet couldn't or wouldn't leave.

When do I get to start volume two?!  Every time I compose a beginning - a workshop here, a book promotion there - the universe takes the paper and crumples it up.  More rewrite.  The old is done.  The only "re" I cannot do is recreate what was.  Volume two cannot be written by the same person who wrote volume one. 

It is as if I stepped into a whole new world and I am disoriented.  Where am I?  How do I navigate?  How do I communicate?  What in this world do I do next?!  What came to me the other night are three words that someone used as their topic for a speech I heard years ago:  allow, accept, and remember. 

Allow the universe to flow through me.  Allow myself to be taken care.  Allow my abundance to flow from and to me.  Allow myself to love and be loved.  Allow myself to feel joy.  Allow what is next to come to me.  Allow myself to be who I really am. 

Accept where I am.  Accept what the universe has given me.  Accept my power.  Accept my gifts.  Accept who I am.

Remember my agreement before I embodied.  Remember my origin.  Remember who I truly am.

Only by allowing, accepting, and remembering who I really am, can I begin the next volume of my life and live my life's true purpose.  Knowing it is one thing, living it is a whole other thing.