Each of us is living a "near death experience" or NDE. We know our bodies still exist and yet we experience what it is like to be out of body. Have you felt like a walking zombie lately?
For months now, it has felt like we were dying yet we are still here. What we are experiencing is the collective dying to left brain-dominated consciousness and simultaneously experiencing right brain expansive consciousness. What is orchestrating this zombie-like experience is our hearts. Yes, the heart, and not the brain, is mission control within the body.
The left brain is responsible for interpreting energy patterns so that we are able to make sense or rationalize what is happening in the physical realm. This is why the left brain is the seat of reason. Without our left brains, we would not be able to function in the physical reality. If we remain stuck in our left brains, we begin to believe that what we see in the physical is all there is. I am separate from everything and therefore the fear of not having enough is birthed. Greed takes over and we all can see the effects of this greed in our world. Separation consciousness is self-destructive. It breeds competition and war.
In this time of the collective NDE, our left brains switch off for a while, allowing our right brains to take over. Right brain consciousness taps into our creative, expansive selves. When we meditate, we experience the bliss of "losing ourselves" in all there is. Separation doesn't exist. The idea of competition is nonsense since we end up defeating ourselves. We realize cooperation is the only way.
It feels wonderful to be in your "right mind". Everything is beautiful. Love is all there is. It is like reliving the 70's but the hippie movement didn't make a lasting change in the world. When we are stuck in right brain consciousness, we live in la la land 24/7 floating around like a hovercraft going nowhere. Nothing really materializes in our world. In order for us spiritual beings having an occasional human experience to manifest anything in the physical, we must ground the energy. The Kabbalah teaches us this. The first Sephorith in the Tree of Life, upon which the tree is rooted, is Malkuth - Lord of Earth.
The key to enlightenment is to balance the right and left hemispheres of the brain. "We live in a many and one universe" so says the first key in The Book of Knowledge: The Keys of Enoch. The right brain says "I am that" realizing the unity of all things. I am part of the everything, even the energy that made me. The left brains says "I am." I am the individuated genius from an energy matrix from the vast Source of All. No one has the exact same manifestation of codes as me. This is the middle pillar Rebecca Carol Lee referred to in her book, The Three Resurrections. The middle pillar is the blending of the left and right hemispheres of the brain, the masculine and the feminine, the science and the mysticism creating the Divine Science.
We are recalibrating our energy and rewiring our brains to first experience living in right brain consciousness for a while. Have you tried counting money, remembering an address, or comprehending what you have just read lately?! These are all left brain activities. If you feel like you are totally disconnected from "reality" and feel like a blissful cloud floating in a sea of noisy nonsense, this too shall pass. Heaven is here now so be here now. You are in a body and through that body you create. You were born to create and there is no creating without interpreting the energy around you. Soon we will marry our left hemisphere to our right hemisphere and create heaven on earth. We live from our hearts, knowing that the heart is in control. That, my friends, is what this whole ascension thing is about. We become Adonai Ha-Aretz, Lord of Earth.
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Monday, May 23, 2011
Extreme Heart Makeover
Well, what an ascension ride this is! What is your ascension "soup du jour"? Most of my friends are experiencing major cellular memory clearing through upper respiratory or intestinal "infections." I experienced my big clearing event on May 9, only my clearing was not with the lung and large intestine meridian. Mine was with the heart meridian.
It has been raining everyday for the past month except for a couple of days. The rains flooded my front yard right up to the front deck. I know water symbolizes emotion and boy is there a lot coming!
The day before my big event, I noticed as I was slicing a beet, it felt like I was cutting open a heart, as this beet was heart-shaped. Later, I looked at the sliced strawberries resembling small red hearts. I didn't realize the significance of making note of these until after the event.
When I woke up on May 9, I immediately sat up in bed and said determinately, "I know my heart is not as open as it can be. I choose to open my heart now." What I forgot to add to that was "with ease and grace." Thankfully, my guides were with me the entire day, telling me what to do next. I pulled my tarot cards for the day and one of them was Pay Attention.
That morning I noticed a seagull land in front of the house. Just the other day I wondered why I hadn't seen any around the canal so this sighting caught my attention. The seagull symbolizes deep emotional healing. How perfect! I knew I needed to be by a larger body of water so I walked to the lake.
After walking along the lake shore, I was guided to walk to the amusement park, which had not yet opened for the season. As I sat on a bench facing some of the rides, I realized that this amusement park was where I experienced the most joy as a child. One of the nine keys from my first book is, "Joy resides in the heart." I walked to look at my favorite rides at Kiddieland. (Can you believe they have the same rides I enjoyed as a child?!) Tears started welling up in my eyes as I said to myself, "I want my joy back!" I knew I needed to get back to process this release.
On my way back, I had the thought that this release will bring about another metamorphosis. Just as I had that thought, a blue butterfly flew in front of me! As I approached the house, I saw a flicker fly from the ground to the tree. Flicker medicine brings a new cycle of growth and helps us to see hidden patterns and "coincidences."
I was guided to go online when I got back, which I thought was odd. I was guided to sign up for a teleconference that included some instant free downloads, one of which was a guided heart opening meditation. Okay, here we go!
Almost immediately after finishing the meditation, I felt this incredible pressure and palpitation in my chest. The phrase "Be careful what you ask for because you will get it" never entered my mind that day! I thought I had better call a friend and ask her check in with my energy as it felt like I was having a heart attack. As I am on the phone with her, I am sobbing uncontrollably. Tears that were held back from this and every other lifetime came out. She said she saw a huge chunk coming off of my heart and that my guides were there toning and facilitating. As all of this is happening, as though in another dimension, I am watching two rabbits play in the field across from the canal. The rabbits came to tell me it is time to face my fears that hold me back from growing.
I went into the bedroom and immediately went into child's pose. I toned and cried at the same time - not an easy thing. So much energy was moving that I felt like I was going to vomit. After that passed, I went into the shower and used a loofah to scrub away the old skin of who I was. I was guided to make dinner and then meditate. As I meditated, I felt my third eye and heart being worked on and then I saw a huge intense white light coming out of my heart chakra. I heard, "What did you think an open portal would look like?!"
That night I dreamed I lost my wallet and my car was gone from the parking lot. The old identity is gone and along with the old journey. All that in less than 24 hours!
Oh, but there's more! As soon as I opened my heart, more incredible synchronicity happened. A woman emailed me on Facebook the next morning saying that she has been following my work and would love to share life stories. The reason this email caught my eye is that her name is Susan. I had just listened to a reading I got years ago that said I would meet a Susan and she would be a marker for me. So I looked up her website and she lives in the area and knows some of the people I know! We emailed back and forth and scheduled a lunch meeting.
On the morning of the meeting, I saw a hummingbird at the front deck. Joy and the ability to do the impossible, I thought. I felt light as a feather as I walked that morning. I noticed a sign on a dumpster that read, "Bliss." How appropriate!
The lunch meeting was magical. After lunch we sat on a stoop where we enjoyed our coffee. Next to us was a small sidewalk sign that read, "Don't delay, today is the day." After seeing that, I asked her if she would like to teach some workshops together. She was delighted. When we arrived back at her car, I noticed the cars parked between us were gone. I said, "The path between us is clear now." We had tears in our eyes as we hugged good-bye.
Magic happens when we open our heart and lighten our load. Healing isn't always pretty but it is worth it. I know there are other wonderful stories of awakening out there. You may be living yours right now. Just know that my heart is with you.
It has been raining everyday for the past month except for a couple of days. The rains flooded my front yard right up to the front deck. I know water symbolizes emotion and boy is there a lot coming!
The day before my big event, I noticed as I was slicing a beet, it felt like I was cutting open a heart, as this beet was heart-shaped. Later, I looked at the sliced strawberries resembling small red hearts. I didn't realize the significance of making note of these until after the event.
When I woke up on May 9, I immediately sat up in bed and said determinately, "I know my heart is not as open as it can be. I choose to open my heart now." What I forgot to add to that was "with ease and grace." Thankfully, my guides were with me the entire day, telling me what to do next. I pulled my tarot cards for the day and one of them was Pay Attention.
That morning I noticed a seagull land in front of the house. Just the other day I wondered why I hadn't seen any around the canal so this sighting caught my attention. The seagull symbolizes deep emotional healing. How perfect! I knew I needed to be by a larger body of water so I walked to the lake.
After walking along the lake shore, I was guided to walk to the amusement park, which had not yet opened for the season. As I sat on a bench facing some of the rides, I realized that this amusement park was where I experienced the most joy as a child. One of the nine keys from my first book is, "Joy resides in the heart." I walked to look at my favorite rides at Kiddieland. (Can you believe they have the same rides I enjoyed as a child?!) Tears started welling up in my eyes as I said to myself, "I want my joy back!" I knew I needed to get back to process this release.
On my way back, I had the thought that this release will bring about another metamorphosis. Just as I had that thought, a blue butterfly flew in front of me! As I approached the house, I saw a flicker fly from the ground to the tree. Flicker medicine brings a new cycle of growth and helps us to see hidden patterns and "coincidences."
I was guided to go online when I got back, which I thought was odd. I was guided to sign up for a teleconference that included some instant free downloads, one of which was a guided heart opening meditation. Okay, here we go!
Almost immediately after finishing the meditation, I felt this incredible pressure and palpitation in my chest. The phrase "Be careful what you ask for because you will get it" never entered my mind that day! I thought I had better call a friend and ask her check in with my energy as it felt like I was having a heart attack. As I am on the phone with her, I am sobbing uncontrollably. Tears that were held back from this and every other lifetime came out. She said she saw a huge chunk coming off of my heart and that my guides were there toning and facilitating. As all of this is happening, as though in another dimension, I am watching two rabbits play in the field across from the canal. The rabbits came to tell me it is time to face my fears that hold me back from growing.
I went into the bedroom and immediately went into child's pose. I toned and cried at the same time - not an easy thing. So much energy was moving that I felt like I was going to vomit. After that passed, I went into the shower and used a loofah to scrub away the old skin of who I was. I was guided to make dinner and then meditate. As I meditated, I felt my third eye and heart being worked on and then I saw a huge intense white light coming out of my heart chakra. I heard, "What did you think an open portal would look like?!"
That night I dreamed I lost my wallet and my car was gone from the parking lot. The old identity is gone and along with the old journey. All that in less than 24 hours!
Oh, but there's more! As soon as I opened my heart, more incredible synchronicity happened. A woman emailed me on Facebook the next morning saying that she has been following my work and would love to share life stories. The reason this email caught my eye is that her name is Susan. I had just listened to a reading I got years ago that said I would meet a Susan and she would be a marker for me. So I looked up her website and she lives in the area and knows some of the people I know! We emailed back and forth and scheduled a lunch meeting.
On the morning of the meeting, I saw a hummingbird at the front deck. Joy and the ability to do the impossible, I thought. I felt light as a feather as I walked that morning. I noticed a sign on a dumpster that read, "Bliss." How appropriate!
The lunch meeting was magical. After lunch we sat on a stoop where we enjoyed our coffee. Next to us was a small sidewalk sign that read, "Don't delay, today is the day." After seeing that, I asked her if she would like to teach some workshops together. She was delighted. When we arrived back at her car, I noticed the cars parked between us were gone. I said, "The path between us is clear now." We had tears in our eyes as we hugged good-bye.
Magic happens when we open our heart and lighten our load. Healing isn't always pretty but it is worth it. I know there are other wonderful stories of awakening out there. You may be living yours right now. Just know that my heart is with you.
Monday, March 21, 2011
Stop the world, I want to get off!
Before I begin, my heart goes out to people all over the world as we all go through our trials and tribulations of rebirth. My gratitude to the people of Japan for being the example of calm and poise in the midst of chaos.
We began the final wave of the Mayan Calendar just a week and a half ago. The acceleration during this "wave" is like the roadrunner cartoon character on steroids. Adding some lighter fluid to the fire, Uranus entered Aries on 3/11, the day of the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami in Japan. The symbols from this event are unmistakable: the ninth wave began just two days before the giant wave of the tsunami and the date of the disaster, if written the way most of the world writes it, would look like 11-3-11. Elevens are gateways and this month of March signifies our entry into accelerated change of all kinds.
Within one month, governments have changed, thousands have died or are missing in an earthquake and tsunami of historic proportions that may lead to another Chernobyl, volcanoes have erupted, floods continue in the US and around the world, and now we are on the verge of yet another war. What gate did we just walk through?
On a personal level, we are all experiencing the effects of the earth changes in our own ways. The electromagnetic field around our hearts is connected to the earth's electromagnetic field, which is decreasing. In many ways, we are witnessing the death of Mother Earth before her rebirth. For weeks, I have felt like my life force was being drained out of me. Hum,I must have walked through the pearly gate! I wonder if I should update my will?
The answer to that question is yes, but not in the 3D sense of updating a will. My personal will to do, to be, needs updating. As I begin the chapter on alignment in my next book and consciously choose to align my will with divine will, I realized that once again, I am living my book. The gateway I entered is one of realigning my life purpose with that of the universe. This realignment is so big that my old self has to "die" to make room for the new.
Perhaps you have recently felt the deep exhaustion. You think you slept well the night before and wake up only to want to go back to bed. Everything is an effort. Not only is everything an effort, I have wondered why I am doing it? I look around and I don't understand anything or want to be here in this old world. It looks foreign, falling apart, and far from being in harmony with who I am now. There is so much of a schism that things we take for granted look foreign. Why do we need automobiles? What is this device for? Why would you build a building that way? Why do most people give up their lives to just work and sleep and do it again and again and again? I don't get it! I haven't for a while but it has now reached a new level, one of total disconnect. Stop the world, I want to get off!
Clearly, monumental changes are needed but it is not quite time yet to implement all of them. We are still in the birth canal. While we are in this in-between state it is best that we prepare. Prepare for more earth changes, more political unrest, and more internal changes as we birth who we really are. Have compassion and hold space for those who don't realize the extent of this change. They are going through a consciousness shift every eighteen days like the rest of us.
Soon we will be called to step into our new roles and new persona. Others may not recognize us and that's okay. It is our job to be their mirrors and show them who they truly are. We may all like to stop the world and get off right now and the reason why we came to earth this life is to help her through this transition. I know we will do just that!
We began the final wave of the Mayan Calendar just a week and a half ago. The acceleration during this "wave" is like the roadrunner cartoon character on steroids. Adding some lighter fluid to the fire, Uranus entered Aries on 3/11, the day of the 9.0 earthquake and tsunami in Japan. The symbols from this event are unmistakable: the ninth wave began just two days before the giant wave of the tsunami and the date of the disaster, if written the way most of the world writes it, would look like 11-3-11. Elevens are gateways and this month of March signifies our entry into accelerated change of all kinds.
Within one month, governments have changed, thousands have died or are missing in an earthquake and tsunami of historic proportions that may lead to another Chernobyl, volcanoes have erupted, floods continue in the US and around the world, and now we are on the verge of yet another war. What gate did we just walk through?
On a personal level, we are all experiencing the effects of the earth changes in our own ways. The electromagnetic field around our hearts is connected to the earth's electromagnetic field, which is decreasing. In many ways, we are witnessing the death of Mother Earth before her rebirth. For weeks, I have felt like my life force was being drained out of me. Hum,I must have walked through the pearly gate! I wonder if I should update my will?
The answer to that question is yes, but not in the 3D sense of updating a will. My personal will to do, to be, needs updating. As I begin the chapter on alignment in my next book and consciously choose to align my will with divine will, I realized that once again, I am living my book. The gateway I entered is one of realigning my life purpose with that of the universe. This realignment is so big that my old self has to "die" to make room for the new.
Perhaps you have recently felt the deep exhaustion. You think you slept well the night before and wake up only to want to go back to bed. Everything is an effort. Not only is everything an effort, I have wondered why I am doing it? I look around and I don't understand anything or want to be here in this old world. It looks foreign, falling apart, and far from being in harmony with who I am now. There is so much of a schism that things we take for granted look foreign. Why do we need automobiles? What is this device for? Why would you build a building that way? Why do most people give up their lives to just work and sleep and do it again and again and again? I don't get it! I haven't for a while but it has now reached a new level, one of total disconnect. Stop the world, I want to get off!
Clearly, monumental changes are needed but it is not quite time yet to implement all of them. We are still in the birth canal. While we are in this in-between state it is best that we prepare. Prepare for more earth changes, more political unrest, and more internal changes as we birth who we really are. Have compassion and hold space for those who don't realize the extent of this change. They are going through a consciousness shift every eighteen days like the rest of us.
Soon we will be called to step into our new roles and new persona. Others may not recognize us and that's okay. It is our job to be their mirrors and show them who they truly are. We may all like to stop the world and get off right now and the reason why we came to earth this life is to help her through this transition. I know we will do just that!
Sunday, February 20, 2011
Love Is
In my quest to find the answers to life's biggest questions, the question "What is love?" is perhaps the most difficult to answer because it is so ubiquitous. To answer the question with the statement "love is" just didn't satisfy my hunger to really know and define love.
The reductionist in me had me looking at love under the microscope of life. The visionary in me broadened my view to include all of creation. Everywhere I looked, from the tall to the small, I found love. Yes, love is all there is but what is all there is?
In Glenda Green's book, Love Without End,Jesus Speaks, she talks about adamantine particles, the fundamental particles of creation that respond only to love. These particles are smaller than atoms, or protons, neutrons, and electrons. Perhaps they are even smaller than bosons and leptons. Whatever their size, if they respond only to love, then love commands the universe.
Moving up to the atomic level, hydrogen is the simplest of all elements, containing only one proton and one electron. It is the most abundant element in the universe. Our sun is mostly hydrogen. Some researchers have even speculated that hydrogen is the memory stick that plugs into the akashic records. It is because of hydrogen bonding that DNA is able to "unzip" and replicate.
At the molecular level, lets look at water because of its association with emotion and its ubiquity. Our bodies are approximately 70-80% water similar to earth. Water is made of mostly hydrogen and it is hydrogen bonding that is responsible for many of water's unique characteristics, including its ability to structure itself.
Researchers have found that water responds to love. Dr. Emoto's ground-breaking research with water shows us that water holds memory. He and other researchers discovered that the emotion of love structures water and forms a beautiful crystal when flash-frozen. Structured water, as I am writing about in my second book, is the key to the transference of information throughout the body. Love our water, love ourselves is one obvious conclusion from this research. What does it mean to "love" our water or anything else for that matter? I am back to where I started. What is love?
Love is an emotion. We innately know what love feels like to give it and receive it. Since emotions are energy in motion, and all energy has a frequency, then love must be a particular frequency. Once again, our words are literal; the term "good vibrations" is often associated with love. Love is a good vibration.
According to Dan Winter, the feeling of love is the result of the harmonic wave pattern created in the heart, which in turn affects how tightly your DNA helix is braided. A magnetic X, as he calls it, is produced in your heart's electromagnetic field. The magnetic rush you feel when you are close to someone you love is the result of this magnetic X. Your DNA braids its strands according to the golden mean ratio and this produces the emotion of bliss. I would say that is a good vibration.
Drunvalo Melchizedek says love is the golden mean ratio - the harmonic expression of nature. Perhaps Karen Carpenter was right. "...all you get from love is a love song." The harmony of love permeates all of creation creating a symphony whose purpose is to blissfully give praise to the grand architect of it all.
How do you define love? Please share your definitions of love and while you are it, please send love to water. Water is so important to all of life. My love to water and to you, my readers! Thank you.
The reductionist in me had me looking at love under the microscope of life. The visionary in me broadened my view to include all of creation. Everywhere I looked, from the tall to the small, I found love. Yes, love is all there is but what is all there is?
In Glenda Green's book, Love Without End,Jesus Speaks, she talks about adamantine particles, the fundamental particles of creation that respond only to love. These particles are smaller than atoms, or protons, neutrons, and electrons. Perhaps they are even smaller than bosons and leptons. Whatever their size, if they respond only to love, then love commands the universe.
Moving up to the atomic level, hydrogen is the simplest of all elements, containing only one proton and one electron. It is the most abundant element in the universe. Our sun is mostly hydrogen. Some researchers have even speculated that hydrogen is the memory stick that plugs into the akashic records. It is because of hydrogen bonding that DNA is able to "unzip" and replicate.
At the molecular level, lets look at water because of its association with emotion and its ubiquity. Our bodies are approximately 70-80% water similar to earth. Water is made of mostly hydrogen and it is hydrogen bonding that is responsible for many of water's unique characteristics, including its ability to structure itself.
Researchers have found that water responds to love. Dr. Emoto's ground-breaking research with water shows us that water holds memory. He and other researchers discovered that the emotion of love structures water and forms a beautiful crystal when flash-frozen. Structured water, as I am writing about in my second book, is the key to the transference of information throughout the body. Love our water, love ourselves is one obvious conclusion from this research. What does it mean to "love" our water or anything else for that matter? I am back to where I started. What is love?
Love is an emotion. We innately know what love feels like to give it and receive it. Since emotions are energy in motion, and all energy has a frequency, then love must be a particular frequency. Once again, our words are literal; the term "good vibrations" is often associated with love. Love is a good vibration.
According to Dan Winter, the feeling of love is the result of the harmonic wave pattern created in the heart, which in turn affects how tightly your DNA helix is braided. A magnetic X, as he calls it, is produced in your heart's electromagnetic field. The magnetic rush you feel when you are close to someone you love is the result of this magnetic X. Your DNA braids its strands according to the golden mean ratio and this produces the emotion of bliss. I would say that is a good vibration.
How do you define love? Please share your definitions of love and while you are it, please send love to water. Water is so important to all of life. My love to water and to you, my readers! Thank you.
Thursday, February 3, 2011
Tipping Point
Lessons come in various sizes and shapes, generally wearing a clever disguise.
After being immersed in an intense death phase and forgetting what seems to be real is an illusion, I went out job hunting. My 3-D visible financial resources are low and I thought going back to what was, the 9 to 5 routine, was the way out.
One day I went to a job fair and had a screening interview for a manager position. The interview went well and I received a call that night for another interview the next day. Prior to the second interview, I checked my email. I received an email from my website contact form with the subject line, "Remembering Your Divinity" (part of the current title for my next book). A woman was asking when my second book would be available as she wanted to purchase it! Would I betray the book if I took this job, which would require much more than an eight hour day? Had I forgotten my divinity?
The interview went well even after sharing the nature of my, yet to be completed, second book. Perhaps having this job will provide the money to publish the book, I rationalized.
I moved to the next stage of the hiring process, a critical thinking test which I passed. When I received a call from the company on my birthday informing me they forgot to schedule me for the personality portion of the testing, I immediately noted the timing. Here I am on my rebirth day, as I call it, taking a personality test. While taking the test, I asked myself, "Just whom do you wish to rebirth Joan?" In other words, will you answer from your heart or will you give the answer you think the company wants? Still true to myself, and to my amazement, I "passed" the personality test.
On to yet another interview with some hospital managers with whom I would be working if I got the job. I was half way through the interview when I realized I didn't want the job. It became crystal clear that I would be selling my soul for money. In that moment, I realized how much I needed to write the book and how much I love writing it!
The very last question of this week-long ordeal was, "Do you know Joy Cerio? In the moment I didn't realize the real significance of what he had asked and responded in the usual 3-D manner. It took but a second after my conventional response for me to understand what the universe was asking me. Just add a pause after the word joy (Cerio being my last name) and I think you get the picture! Am I living in joy? Will this job add to my joy? No.
The next day I was notified I wasn't chosen for the position. Of course not. My heart was not in it. I didn't choose the job so why would it choose me?
What the experience showed me was that I was not trusting even though I thought I was. As my friend Mark David wrote in his novel The MoonQuest, you either trust or you don't. There is no in between. I clearly was not trusting.
I did some automatic writing for myself during this never-ending interview process. I wrote that I am at a tipping point. Why not? 2011 may be a tipping point for all of us. Since I wrote this, I have heard this phrase used in various articles and by various reporters describing current events. What huge change inside me is about to happen that will forever change how I operate in the world?
In the shower this morning I played a mind game. I asked myself a series of "what if" questions.
What if I'm really not "from here?"
What if I came here with a divine purpose?
What if every choice I have made so far has provided the ideal experiences to support me carrying out my divine purpose?
What if the past eight years of soul searching and clearing, of unfolding who I really am, was not only for me but had a greater purpose?
What if I totally trust the universe will provide for me?
What if I defy logic and concentrate on finishing my second book instead of looking for a 9 to 5 job?
What if writing this book is part of my divine purpose?
What if I follow my heart in every moment?
What if I remember my divinity?
Sometimes we know something so deeply we miss the forest for the tree. Saying these words tripped a switch within all of my cells and opened a new neural pathway in my brain. Sounds like a tipping point to me? Perhaps now I will live in joy.
As I continue to process this latest "ah ha" moment, I also continue to surrender to the moment of now. Everything happens in the glorious moment of now. Even tipping points.
After being immersed in an intense death phase and forgetting what seems to be real is an illusion, I went out job hunting. My 3-D visible financial resources are low and I thought going back to what was, the 9 to 5 routine, was the way out.
One day I went to a job fair and had a screening interview for a manager position. The interview went well and I received a call that night for another interview the next day. Prior to the second interview, I checked my email. I received an email from my website contact form with the subject line, "Remembering Your Divinity" (part of the current title for my next book). A woman was asking when my second book would be available as she wanted to purchase it! Would I betray the book if I took this job, which would require much more than an eight hour day? Had I forgotten my divinity?
The interview went well even after sharing the nature of my, yet to be completed, second book. Perhaps having this job will provide the money to publish the book, I rationalized.
I moved to the next stage of the hiring process, a critical thinking test which I passed. When I received a call from the company on my birthday informing me they forgot to schedule me for the personality portion of the testing, I immediately noted the timing. Here I am on my rebirth day, as I call it, taking a personality test. While taking the test, I asked myself, "Just whom do you wish to rebirth Joan?" In other words, will you answer from your heart or will you give the answer you think the company wants? Still true to myself, and to my amazement, I "passed" the personality test.
On to yet another interview with some hospital managers with whom I would be working if I got the job. I was half way through the interview when I realized I didn't want the job. It became crystal clear that I would be selling my soul for money. In that moment, I realized how much I needed to write the book and how much I love writing it!
The very last question of this week-long ordeal was, "Do you know Joy Cerio? In the moment I didn't realize the real significance of what he had asked and responded in the usual 3-D manner. It took but a second after my conventional response for me to understand what the universe was asking me. Just add a pause after the word joy (Cerio being my last name) and I think you get the picture! Am I living in joy? Will this job add to my joy? No.
The next day I was notified I wasn't chosen for the position. Of course not. My heart was not in it. I didn't choose the job so why would it choose me?
What the experience showed me was that I was not trusting even though I thought I was. As my friend Mark David wrote in his novel The MoonQuest, you either trust or you don't. There is no in between. I clearly was not trusting.
I did some automatic writing for myself during this never-ending interview process. I wrote that I am at a tipping point. Why not? 2011 may be a tipping point for all of us. Since I wrote this, I have heard this phrase used in various articles and by various reporters describing current events. What huge change inside me is about to happen that will forever change how I operate in the world?
In the shower this morning I played a mind game. I asked myself a series of "what if" questions.
What if I'm really not "from here?"
What if I came here with a divine purpose?
What if every choice I have made so far has provided the ideal experiences to support me carrying out my divine purpose?
What if the past eight years of soul searching and clearing, of unfolding who I really am, was not only for me but had a greater purpose?
What if I totally trust the universe will provide for me?
What if I defy logic and concentrate on finishing my second book instead of looking for a 9 to 5 job?
What if writing this book is part of my divine purpose?
What if I follow my heart in every moment?
What if I remember my divinity?
Sometimes we know something so deeply we miss the forest for the tree. Saying these words tripped a switch within all of my cells and opened a new neural pathway in my brain. Sounds like a tipping point to me? Perhaps now I will live in joy.
As I continue to process this latest "ah ha" moment, I also continue to surrender to the moment of now. Everything happens in the glorious moment of now. Even tipping points.
Monday, December 13, 2010
As Dead as a Door-nail
"The Marleys were dead to begin with - as dead as a door-nail." So begins The Muppet Christmas Carol. My name is not Marley and I'm not a Muppet, but I am "as dead as a door-nail."
As this year is coming to a close, my life, as I have known it, it also coming to a close. I am in a death phase. Doors of all kinds are closing. It is time to let go of everything.
During my last trip to Sedona, I reluctantly went to a full moon ceremony with a friend who wanted to introduce me to the owners of the retreat where the ceremony was held. Participating in the ceremony was like pulling teeth for me - I just didn't want to do it. I understand the power of ceremony and I had my fill. "I don't need to tie a prayer bundle to set an intention", I thought. The owner who was leading the group was clearly a well-polished showman who, from what I had seen earlier in the evening, doesn't walk his talk. "Enough of ego-driven charlatans too!" I couldn't wait to leave. I reached my saturation point.
The next day I realized why I needed to go to the ceremony. I had to feel totally done with what going to that ceremony represented in my life, that my days of spiritual seeking and learning at that level are done. I let go of all attachments to what I think my spiritual work is or even doing any more spiritual work. I took a good long look at my life and woke up from some delusions.
This death phase has lasted so long and been so painful that all I can liken it to is a spaghetti western where a cowboy was shot and is taking his sweet time to die - twirling around, kicking his feet, and taking some long and painful last gasps. If I were a horse, someone would have put me out of my misery by now. It's a good thing I'm not packing a six iron.
I feel empty like someone picked me up and shook me upside down to get the last whatever out of me. I am hollow. Spent. Kaput. There is no more to give and at this moment, nothing to do. Perfect timing for a mercury retrograde period, don't you think?
In this strange spiral sine wave of life, I just hit the bottom of the trough. The good news is, of course, there is no where to go but up from here. Since much of November felt like a slow death and here we are into mid December, my concern is - how long is the trough? Oh and next week is a full moon lunar eclipse on the solstice! As Charlie Brown would say sarcastically, "Joy to the world."
Christmas is usually a time for miracles, light, and birth. I think we may need to wait until Epiphany for the birthing of the new since mercury doesn't go direct until December 30 and the new moon solar eclipse is on January 4. Yes, we should all have our own epiphany by then!
Meanwhile, I'm allowing all of the last remaining gunk to come up and out and making friends with my death phase. Out with the old and in with the new!
I will leave you with this song from Barry Manilow, "It's Just Another New Year's Eve." Let's take a moment and pat ourselves on the back for making it through this intense year. Enjoy my friends. May 2011 be kind to all of us.
As this year is coming to a close, my life, as I have known it, it also coming to a close. I am in a death phase. Doors of all kinds are closing. It is time to let go of everything.
During my last trip to Sedona, I reluctantly went to a full moon ceremony with a friend who wanted to introduce me to the owners of the retreat where the ceremony was held. Participating in the ceremony was like pulling teeth for me - I just didn't want to do it. I understand the power of ceremony and I had my fill. "I don't need to tie a prayer bundle to set an intention", I thought. The owner who was leading the group was clearly a well-polished showman who, from what I had seen earlier in the evening, doesn't walk his talk. "Enough of ego-driven charlatans too!" I couldn't wait to leave. I reached my saturation point.
The next day I realized why I needed to go to the ceremony. I had to feel totally done with what going to that ceremony represented in my life, that my days of spiritual seeking and learning at that level are done. I let go of all attachments to what I think my spiritual work is or even doing any more spiritual work. I took a good long look at my life and woke up from some delusions.
This death phase has lasted so long and been so painful that all I can liken it to is a spaghetti western where a cowboy was shot and is taking his sweet time to die - twirling around, kicking his feet, and taking some long and painful last gasps. If I were a horse, someone would have put me out of my misery by now. It's a good thing I'm not packing a six iron.
I feel empty like someone picked me up and shook me upside down to get the last whatever out of me. I am hollow. Spent. Kaput. There is no more to give and at this moment, nothing to do. Perfect timing for a mercury retrograde period, don't you think?
In this strange spiral sine wave of life, I just hit the bottom of the trough. The good news is, of course, there is no where to go but up from here. Since much of November felt like a slow death and here we are into mid December, my concern is - how long is the trough? Oh and next week is a full moon lunar eclipse on the solstice! As Charlie Brown would say sarcastically, "Joy to the world."
Christmas is usually a time for miracles, light, and birth. I think we may need to wait until Epiphany for the birthing of the new since mercury doesn't go direct until December 30 and the new moon solar eclipse is on January 4. Yes, we should all have our own epiphany by then!
Meanwhile, I'm allowing all of the last remaining gunk to come up and out and making friends with my death phase. Out with the old and in with the new!
I will leave you with this song from Barry Manilow, "It's Just Another New Year's Eve." Let's take a moment and pat ourselves on the back for making it through this intense year. Enjoy my friends. May 2011 be kind to all of us.
Saturday, November 13, 2010
Knocking on Heaven's Door
Where did this year go? It felt like time stood still for a month or two in early summer and then the rest of the year went into hyper drive. Anyone else feeling this? I know things are accelerated in Sedona and this feels different than my other Sedona sojourns.
This past week I felt an energy at my back gently nudging me forward. Call this person, get this session, see this friend, go here, do this. Today I took a moment to think about what I intended for this visit to vortex heaven and what I asked for since I arrived. So far, everything I intended and asked for I've gotten in short order. In three short weeks, I have received life-altering bodywork, read a couple of books, watched about 7 informational DVDs, given several healing sessions, made a new friend, reconnected with several friends, received several messages, and this coming week may be the crowning glory, literally. I have scheduled several powerful events for this week that I know will change my life forever.
A friend of mine who channels shared a powerful and personal experience with me this week that I needed to hear. She shared some messages for me and said I may have a similar experience. Much of what she said confirmed what I was feeling and some sent me into a tailspin. I know it is time to embody my divine essence.
We are near the apex of our current spacetime spiral. Just as a vortex of water accelerates the further down the drain it travels, we are being accelerated through this zero point, into the next dimension, and onto the next spiral cycle. What happens when we break one plane of existence and enter the next? Our consciousness changes so dramatically that we no longer feel like the same person.
I thought the main purpose of this ninth journey across the country was to write my second book. To my surprise, what I realized today is that the book is writing me. Until I energetically catch up with what the book requires, I can write no further. Until we can "catch up" with our divine essence, we can progress no further with this level of consciousness. We've gone as far as we can go.
So here we are knocking on heaven's door feeling empty and spent, like an empty rocket booster hurdling through space. The thrust for our "past" life is gone. As we pass through the eye of the needle, zero point energy, we lose all sense of time and place, if you haven't already. It is no man's land, true limbo, zero point. We also refuel for our next life's journey through spacetime as we pass through this enormous amount of energy.
Each of us has a preprogrammed launch time into our new/next lives. We remain in limbo until the countdown is complete and liftoff occurs.
For now, my stare is like a deer in headlights, I have forgotten much of the past, and feel like I am on perpetual autopilot. Limbo land is unnerving, seemingly unnatural, and this too shall pass.
This past week I felt an energy at my back gently nudging me forward. Call this person, get this session, see this friend, go here, do this. Today I took a moment to think about what I intended for this visit to vortex heaven and what I asked for since I arrived. So far, everything I intended and asked for I've gotten in short order. In three short weeks, I have received life-altering bodywork, read a couple of books, watched about 7 informational DVDs, given several healing sessions, made a new friend, reconnected with several friends, received several messages, and this coming week may be the crowning glory, literally. I have scheduled several powerful events for this week that I know will change my life forever.
A friend of mine who channels shared a powerful and personal experience with me this week that I needed to hear. She shared some messages for me and said I may have a similar experience. Much of what she said confirmed what I was feeling and some sent me into a tailspin. I know it is time to embody my divine essence.
We are near the apex of our current spacetime spiral. Just as a vortex of water accelerates the further down the drain it travels, we are being accelerated through this zero point, into the next dimension, and onto the next spiral cycle. What happens when we break one plane of existence and enter the next? Our consciousness changes so dramatically that we no longer feel like the same person.
I thought the main purpose of this ninth journey across the country was to write my second book. To my surprise, what I realized today is that the book is writing me. Until I energetically catch up with what the book requires, I can write no further. Until we can "catch up" with our divine essence, we can progress no further with this level of consciousness. We've gone as far as we can go.
So here we are knocking on heaven's door feeling empty and spent, like an empty rocket booster hurdling through space. The thrust for our "past" life is gone. As we pass through the eye of the needle, zero point energy, we lose all sense of time and place, if you haven't already. It is no man's land, true limbo, zero point. We also refuel for our next life's journey through spacetime as we pass through this enormous amount of energy.Each of us has a preprogrammed launch time into our new/next lives. We remain in limbo until the countdown is complete and liftoff occurs.
For now, my stare is like a deer in headlights, I have forgotten much of the past, and feel like I am on perpetual autopilot. Limbo land is unnerving, seemingly unnatural, and this too shall pass.
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