Monday, March 16, 2015

Cosmic Gift

Today is the final Pluto Uranus square in a series of seven that started in 2012. This celestial event will not occur again (thankfully) in our lifetimes. What these two outer powerhouse planets (why isn't Pluto still a planet?) bring us is transformation (Pluto) and awakening (Uranus). The energy of this final square asks us, "What patterns have we not yet purged? What are we still holding on to that no longer serves us?" 

In just a few days, we will also experience a total solar eclipse in the very last degree of Pisces, on a super new moon, just hours away from the vernal equinox. This is one power-packed week. I have been feeling this intensity since last week. It hasn't been pretty. Healing usually isn't. 

Yesterday, I delved deep into my soul and asked why I continue a certain behavior. What I found is that the behavior was passed down from my mother who probably received it from one of her parents and so on. The past patterns of our ancestors can be inherited by subsequent generations unless we are aware enough to identify and change the behavior.

My mother was a perfectionist and she expected no less from her children. No matter what I did, it was never good enough for my mother. "If you got 98, you could have gotten 100 on your report card," she would say. Slowly but surely, I took on the energy of "not good enough" and what comes next? Low self-worth and self-doubt, of course. To counteract this, I created scenarios where I thought I had to do more and be more than anyone else - the quintessential overachiever. I had worried that if I didn't meet my mother's expectations, she wouldn't love me. That was the story I told myself. Eventually, not good enough turned into not worthy of love.

So here I am writing about the heart, the symbol of love, in my book, Hardwired to Heaven: Download Your Divinity Through Your Heart and Create Your Deepest Desires. "Your greatest wound shall be your greatest strength," my astrologer told me years ago when speaking about Chiron. In Greek mythology, Chiron is known as the wounded healer. As I heal my own heart, I am able to heal other hearts.

My journey to the depths of my soul revealed a pearl. It was always there, waiting for me to acknowledge it. My gift. My raison d'etre. I am loved and lovable. We all are for we are never separate from the love that created us. May this week of once-in-a-lifetime energy, bring you a cosmic gift and unearth your pearl.